Just A Sweet Bisexual

worldpeaces:

cuddling is so perfect when you think about it because you get really close to someone you love and it’s like saying “hey human, theres a lot of humans in the world but you’re my human and i love you”

(Source: worldpeaces, via anotherlesbianandwhat)

judithblove:

❤︎❤︎❤︎

judithblove:

❤︎❤︎❤︎

(Source: weheartit.com, via lgbtqi-advice)

brighteyescosplay:

geekygothgirl:

fatbodypolitics:

brigidkeely:

the-fly-agaric:

dragonsupremacy:

the-unpopular-opinions:

The opposite end of traditional “street harassment”: the girl who never gets cat called
In feminist spaces I see a lot of feminists complain about being street harassed. I read about it and I totally sympathize with their experiences, even though I have never experienced them myself. I am a female myself but am not conventionally attractive. I am not hideous but more or less a plain jane. On top of that I have ALWAYS valued comfort over style, so dressing feminine isn’t something I do on a regular basis. I wear a lot of loose jeans and T-shirts. But yeah, anyway, know that I am not trying to play “who has it harder” or anything but rather I am making this to share my experiences of getting the opposite end of the shit-covered stick that is street harassment that I don’t see being mentioned. I call it street dismissal.
When I say street dismissal I am talking about men who feel the need to subtly announce that unattractive women are not worthy of respect or acknowledgement because they are not a conventionally attractive female or their fellow man. 
Some examples I’ve personally experienced include:
Many guys at parties will arrive or leave, give all the men handshakes, give the attractive women hugs, but won’t even make eye contact with me. I am not a guy or a hot girl so I don’t exist.
I’ve been bumped into in public without an apology by men. I am not an attractive girl or your fellow man, so it makes sense for you to not even notice I am there.
One time I was walking behind a group of attractive women. A guy spotted us. Opened the door for the three women and shut the door in my face. I am not worthy of his time because I am not attractive.
I once was charged a cover on ladies night because I went out to the bar in my work uniform. (red shirt khaki pants)
Another time at a bar, I saw an open space to order a drink. The guy sitting next to me saw me, raised his eyebrows and turned the other way to make sure I don’t DARE try to talk to him. (Because I totally went there to hit on him and NOT get a drink right?)
I once went with my gay male friend to a straight guy’s house he knew. The first thing out of the straight guy’s mouth was “I was totally excited when you had a chick with you. Nevermind!” The whole night he offered my friend drinks and didn’t offer me a thing and seemed frustrated when I asked where the bathroom was. The only other thing he said that night was “Do you have any hot single friends that would come over here?”
Another time I went with a female friend of mine to get drinks. We met up with her guy friend. He ordered a round of beers for everyone except me. His excuse was “he didn’t know she was going to bring someone along and he is low on money” that was until his guy friend from high school showed up unexpectedly and he quickly bought him a drink.
These are just examples that have happened to me. So my question is are there any other “unattractive” girls out there that experience things similar to this? 
I just wanted to speak from the other perspective. We always hear the horror stories of sexism from the perspective of the women who are objectified by men in the sense of “oo I want that.” and not too many in the sense of “oo, ew DO NOT WANT.” 
This may seem like a big long rant that looks like “WAH PRETTY GIRLS GET THINGS AND I DON’T OH MY LIFE SUCKS” but I don’t mean to come off that way. Because I feel the need to mention that guys don’t do this just to get laid. This is where it’s important to bring up the fact that we are treated with less respect than other men. Men aren’t decent people to other men because they want to fuck them. They are decent to them because they see them as equals that deserve basic respect and acknowledgement. But we are women and to these men either you try to fuck them because they are hot or want them to go away. An unattractive woman has no purpose to him. 
Misogyny affects all women negatively. 

When I saw the first line I thought this post was going to be a boohooing tale about someone who desperately wanted to get harassed by men for hotness validation, but it was nothing of the sort. This is important and we should definitely see this brought up more in conversations regarding men’s general attitudes toward and interactions with women.

I hear stories like this mostly from big women or women who used to be a lot bigger than they are now. A woman told me she was once straight up punched in the face, after the guy told her she was disgusting and fat, and he just walked on and laughed. And the saddest part is that she told me, a lot of women harrassed her as well :(
OP is right, women are not left alone or “ignored” just because men dont find them attractive. And as the OP says, ignoring someone can be done in a rude and aggressive way.

And some people get both.
I’m a super fat women and I both get harassed/streetcalled/rubbed up on in public, but I also get completely ignored.
One time super late at night I was on the train and a complete stranger, a man, came up to me and started screaming at me and demanding money. I was reading a book and he got in my face and physically slapped it out of my hands and onto the floor, yelling and threatening me and demanding money and calling me names/insulting me. I loudly stated that I didn’t know him and asked him to leave me alone. Nobody in the train car reacted. The only other woman there stared stonily ahead (I don’t blame her at all). Finally, a tall guy stood up and walked toward me… to sit next to the (slender, conventionally attractive woman) putting his body between her and the screaming guy assaulting me. Nobody addressed the screaming man threatening me. Nobody pushed the brightly lit blue call button to notify the conductor. I didn’t matter. The other (thinner, more conventionally attractive) woman who was (not yet) in the line of fire mattered more than I did.
I wound up scrambling off the train just before the doors closed at the next stop, even though it wasn’t my stop and I knew there’d be a 20+ minute wait for the next train. I really hoped the guy wouldn’t be able to follow me out. Part of the reason I didn’t stay on until my stop (which was the next one after) was because I didn’t want him to disembark with me and follow me home… something that’s happened before.
There are a lot of different ways to harass women. Both responding aggressively to their femininity/perceived sexual availability and also denying it,  devaluing them because they aren’t feminine enough. Both are harmful. Both just… chip away at the person, at the soul, at the worth of someone. It’s a constant slow eroding drip wearing us down.

Yes to all this. I’ve been sexually harassed, fat shamed and invisible depending on how someone decides how valuable I am to them. It cuts at you.

I think I’ve already reblogged this but I don’t care. It’s so important. It’s SO important. In our society, you either exist as an object to be fucked or you’re ignored or greeted with anger if you’re not deemed fuckable enough. And it’s perverse and disgusting and I am so tired of hearing these stories from women. We are more. Whether we’re thin or fat, conventionally attractive or plain, no matter what color we are, we deserve respect and we aren’t getting it, (and many times WOC get it worse than white women, which I think it’s important to remember) and it makes me so tired and so sad.

This needs to be spread. The worst I’ve been harassed is also the most difficult to understand: I was not even a block away from my workplace walking at 8am in the frigid Midwest in a long, black puffy coat with black tights and boots and a man in a car driving opens his window to yell “NICE PUSSY.” I only caught the tail end so I pretended it didn’t happen until he purposefully made a u-turn to pass by me to scream it AGAIN. Thankfully he didn’t stop to continue but seriously, he couldn’t see anything (certainly not my vagina) and I was still nothing but an object. I’ve taken to wearing my headphones walking back and forth from work (no more than a few blocks). Harassment in all forms is degrading and makes one feel like their personal safety is compromised. Thank you everyone for sharing your stories

brighteyescosplay:

geekygothgirl:

fatbodypolitics:

brigidkeely:

the-fly-agaric:

dragonsupremacy:

the-unpopular-opinions:

The opposite end of traditional “street harassment”: the girl who never gets cat called

In feminist spaces I see a lot of feminists complain about being street harassed. I read about it and I totally sympathize with their experiences, even though I have never experienced them myself. I am a female myself but am not conventionally attractive. I am not hideous but more or less a plain jane. On top of that I have ALWAYS valued comfort over style, so dressing feminine isn’t something I do on a regular basis. I wear a lot of loose jeans and T-shirts. But yeah, anyway, know that I am not trying to play “who has it harder” or anything but rather I am making this to share my experiences of getting the opposite end of the shit-covered stick that is street harassment that I don’t see being mentioned. I call it street dismissal.

When I say street dismissal I am talking about men who feel the need to subtly announce that unattractive women are not worthy of respect or acknowledgement because they are not a conventionally attractive female or their fellow man. 

Some examples I’ve personally experienced include:

  • Many guys at parties will arrive or leave, give all the men handshakes, give the attractive women hugs, but won’t even make eye contact with me. I am not a guy or a hot girl so I don’t exist.
  • I’ve been bumped into in public without an apology by men. I am not an attractive girl or your fellow man, so it makes sense for you to not even notice I am there.
  • One time I was walking behind a group of attractive women. A guy spotted us. Opened the door for the three women and shut the door in my face. I am not worthy of his time because I am not attractive.
  • I once was charged a cover on ladies night because I went out to the bar in my work uniform. (red shirt khaki pants)
  • Another time at a bar, I saw an open space to order a drink. The guy sitting next to me saw me, raised his eyebrows and turned the other way to make sure I don’t DARE try to talk to him. (Because I totally went there to hit on him and NOT get a drink right?)
  • I once went with my gay male friend to a straight guy’s house he knew. The first thing out of the straight guy’s mouth was “I was totally excited when you had a chick with you. Nevermind!” The whole night he offered my friend drinks and didn’t offer me a thing and seemed frustrated when I asked where the bathroom was. The only other thing he said that night was “Do you have any hot single friends that would come over here?”
  • Another time I went with a female friend of mine to get drinks. We met up with her guy friend. He ordered a round of beers for everyone except me. His excuse was “he didn’t know she was going to bring someone along and he is low on money” that was until his guy friend from high school showed up unexpectedly and he quickly bought him a drink.

These are just examples that have happened to me. So my question is are there any other “unattractive” girls out there that experience things similar to this? 

I just wanted to speak from the other perspective. We always hear the horror stories of sexism from the perspective of the women who are objectified by men in the sense of “oo I want that.” and not too many in the sense of “oo, ew DO NOT WANT.” 

This may seem like a big long rant that looks like “WAH PRETTY GIRLS GET THINGS AND I DON’T OH MY LIFE SUCKS” but I don’t mean to come off that way. Because I feel the need to mention that guys don’t do this just to get laid. This is where it’s important to bring up the fact that we are treated with less respect than other men. Men aren’t decent people to other men because they want to fuck them. They are decent to them because they see them as equals that deserve basic respect and acknowledgement. But we are women and to these men either you try to fuck them because they are hot or want them to go away. An unattractive woman has no purpose to him. 

Misogyny affects all women negatively. 

When I saw the first line I thought this post was going to be a boohooing tale about someone who desperately wanted to get harassed by men for hotness validation, but it was nothing of the sort. This is important and we should definitely see this brought up more in conversations regarding men’s general attitudes toward and interactions with women.

I hear stories like this mostly from big women or women who used to be a lot bigger than they are now. A woman told me she was once straight up punched in the face, after the guy told her she was disgusting and fat, and he just walked on and laughed. And the saddest part is that she told me, a lot of women harrassed her as well :(

OP is right, women are not left alone or “ignored” just because men dont find them attractive. And as the OP says, ignoring someone can be done in a rude and aggressive way.

And some people get both.

I’m a super fat women and I both get harassed/streetcalled/rubbed up on in public, but I also get completely ignored.

One time super late at night I was on the train and a complete stranger, a man, came up to me and started screaming at me and demanding money. I was reading a book and he got in my face and physically slapped it out of my hands and onto the floor, yelling and threatening me and demanding money and calling me names/insulting me. I loudly stated that I didn’t know him and asked him to leave me alone. Nobody in the train car reacted. The only other woman there stared stonily ahead (I don’t blame her at all). Finally, a tall guy stood up and walked toward me… to sit next to the (slender, conventionally attractive woman) putting his body between her and the screaming guy assaulting me. Nobody addressed the screaming man threatening me. Nobody pushed the brightly lit blue call button to notify the conductor. I didn’t matter. The other (thinner, more conventionally attractive) woman who was (not yet) in the line of fire mattered more than I did.

I wound up scrambling off the train just before the doors closed at the next stop, even though it wasn’t my stop and I knew there’d be a 20+ minute wait for the next train. I really hoped the guy wouldn’t be able to follow me out. Part of the reason I didn’t stay on until my stop (which was the next one after) was because I didn’t want him to disembark with me and follow me home… something that’s happened before.

There are a lot of different ways to harass women. Both responding aggressively to their femininity/perceived sexual availability and also denying it,  devaluing them because they aren’t feminine enough. Both are harmful. Both just… chip away at the person, at the soul, at the worth of someone. It’s a constant slow eroding drip wearing us down.

Yes to all this. I’ve been sexually harassed, fat shamed and invisible depending on how someone decides how valuable I am to them. It cuts at you.

I think I’ve already reblogged this but I don’t care. It’s so important. It’s SO important. In our society, you either exist as an object to be fucked or you’re ignored or greeted with anger if you’re not deemed fuckable enough. And it’s perverse and disgusting and I am so tired of hearing these stories from women. We are more. Whether we’re thin or fat, conventionally attractive or plain, no matter what color we are, we deserve respect and we aren’t getting it, (and many times WOC get it worse than white women, which I think it’s important to remember) and it makes me so tired and so sad.

This needs to be spread. The worst I’ve been harassed is also the most difficult to understand: I was not even a block away from my workplace walking at 8am in the frigid Midwest in a long, black puffy coat with black tights and boots and a man in a car driving opens his window to yell “NICE PUSSY.” I only caught the tail end so I pretended it didn’t happen until he purposefully made a u-turn to pass by me to scream it AGAIN. Thankfully he didn’t stop to continue but seriously, he couldn’t see anything (certainly not my vagina) and I was still nothing but an object. I’ve taken to wearing my headphones walking back and forth from work (no more than a few blocks). Harassment in all forms is degrading and makes one feel like their personal safety is compromised. Thank you everyone for sharing your stories

(via madmaxed)

hello-lesbians:

I was straight once, turns out it was a phase

(via chickfilaaaaa)

spudsexuall:

It’s so fucking weird how girls can just tell when our periods start. Like the exact fucking moment. You’re just sitting in bed or standing in line for groceries and your face does that thing kind of like in That’s so Raven when Raven gets a vision

(via chickfilaaaaa)

thiseternaloptimist:

bisexual-community:

gigifantasy:

My parents told me I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up … They didn’t tell me if I wasn’t straight they’d kick me out on the streets though.

That’s what I fear about my parents doing…


Here are some resources:
PFLAG (International)
Hetrick Martin Institute (NYC)
The Ali Forney Center (NYC)
Albert Kennedy Trust– UK
Diversity Role Models–UK
Rainbow Rooms – UK
Push Project – UK
BLAH LGBT Youth – Norfolk, UK
LGBT Youth Northwest – UK
LGBT Youth – Scotland
LGBT Cymru Helpline – Wales, UK
Covenant House – Latin America
Dream Bridge Exchange – Toronto
Michael Causer Foundation – Liverpool
Camden LGBT Forum – London
LGBT Jigsaw – London
Twenty 10 – Australia
Youth Project – Nova Scotia
Minus 18 Youth – Australia
Misc. Youth – Calgary 
LGBT Ungdom – Denmark
Rainbow Youth – New Zealand
Youth Line – Ontario 

Resources for anyone who might need them.

thiseternaloptimist:

bisexual-community:

gigifantasy:

My parents told me I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up … They didn’t tell me if I wasn’t straight they’d kick me out on the streets though.

That’s what I fear about my parents doing…

Here are some resources:

Resources for anyone who might need them.

(via bicuriousadvice)

I need Orange Is the New Black season 3 now.

(Source: what-if-she-knew)

ladyfabulous:

arya—snark:

jathis:

theartoftransliness:

genderfuckedover:

thewomanfromitaly:

i-am-river:

So, i read this awful article using bathroom “scare tactics,” which was claiming that trans women are potential rapists. “Men” who dress as women to gain access to women only spaces and force them self on women. This really upset me and i had a bit of a Twitter rant. They were read by others and i was urged to post them in other media also, so i am posting them here. (Edited together in easy reading format from top to bottom.)

This is the link in the first tweet about how there are no cases of a trans woman attacking a cis woman in public restrooms: Link 1.

This is the link in the second tweet about the cases where trans people are assaulted in the bathroom by cis people: Link 2.

if you’re cis and you follow me i’m gonna need you to reblog this

don’t care if you’re cis or trans, this is important.

This is important information for everyone to know.

Tell Radfems to stop fucking lying about Trans Women

I almost didn’t reblog this because I hate when people TELL me to reblog things, but I’ve had this argument with “feminists” before who tried to make it like I didn’t care about women (I guess they don’t think trans women are women) because basically I said your perception of safety doesn’t trump someone’s actual safety.

(via angrybisexual)

» for bi girls

cigarettes-and-cereal:

When I first started college I wore my LGBTQ button
on my book bag with conviction
but now I wear it with shame
because a bisexual college girl has become a cliche.

My closet has many rooms.

I am tired of being questioned by professors
if I am gay because most of my protagonists are.
I am tired of my boyfriend suggesting we have a threesome
because we would both enjoy it.
I am tired of being the exception to monogamy.
I am tired of being a phase
when phase is just another word for slut in my case
I am tired of being painted as a drunk straight girl
my feelings for my best friend in high school
cannot be compared to a hangover
I am tired of feeling guilty
for having a boyfriend all through high school
because even though I didn’t love him
he helped me survive in a small town
where too many LGBTQ buttons
were met with violence.

When I first came out to my mother
she slammed the closet door in my face.
She said bisexuality did not exist
that you are either straight or gay
and being gay is fine
but since I was her daughter she knew
that I was doing this for attention.


She knew that I was doing this for attention.

I am tired of being a private spectacle.
I am tired of being a conversation
you save until the fifth date
I have opened the closet door but I have not stepped out
because I am tired of being a trope
but if i’m going to be a stereotype
at least make me a permanent one.


I am tired of being seen as temporary.

To my boyfriend, I am tired of proving my commitment to you.
To my gay friends, I am sorry I didn’t fight the same battle as you.
To my fellow bisexual college girls, be proud.
To my mother,

do I have your attention now?

(via bisexual-community)

autosage:

things to say if someone asks why you are so quiet

  • "i don’t have much to say"
  • (shrug with a smile)
  • "i like listening"
  • (with clenched teeth) “there are wasps in my mouth”

(via daltonthetimelord)

bisexual-books:

It’s time for another Bisexual Books giveaway!  You know you could use more queer comics in your life!  

You could win all the fantastic goodies pictured above:

  • A copy of Batgirl 19 which features the coming out of Alysia (Batgirl’s roommate) as transgender!  Alysia is also bi.  And did I mention this copy is AUTOGRAPHED by author Gail Simone?  
  • A copy of Death’s Door by Sam Saturday, a pansexual author writing about creepy polyamorous demons.  And it’s also AUTOGRAPHED by sam-saturday!   
  • A copy of Pancakes by Kat Leyh, a super adorable comic with queer girl superheros that makes us swoon.
  • stickers from weneeddiversebooks, Geeks Out, tumblr, and a bi pride flag
  • and a handful of pinback buttons including a Dark Horse pride button!

Now all the boring rules stuff:

  • This giveaway is open to everyone (yes international friends this includes you).  
  • You must be following us here at bisexual-books to win
  • You must reblog this post (likes don’t count for this one sorry guys).
  • You can reblog as many times as you’d like
  • But no giveaway blogs  
  • Winners will be chosen August 10th at 8pm CST

And don’t forget to enter our other two awesome giveaways — one for romance and the other for bisexual YA!

bisexual-books:

It’s time for another Bisexual Books giveaway!  Bisexual YA author Corinne Duyvis was generous enough to send us some swag from her US tour and we’re happy to pass it along to you guys!  

You could win all the fantastic goodies pictured above:

Now all the boring rules stuff:

  • This giveaway is open to everyone (yes international friends this includes you).  
  • You must be following us here at bisexual-books to win
  • You must reblog this post (likes don’t count for this one sorry guys).   
  • You can reblog as many times as you’d like
  • But no giveaway blogs  
  • Winners will be chosen August 10th at 8pm CST

And don’t forget to enter our other two awesome giveaways — one for bisexual comics and the other for romance!

» BREAKING: Appeals court strikes down Virginia's ban on same-sex marriage

gaywrites:

The 4th Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled that Virginia’s ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional, marking the latest in a series of court decisions favoring marriage equality.

""We recognize that same-sex marriage makes some people deeply uncomfortable," he wrote. "However, inertia and apprehension are not legitimate bases for denying same-sex couples due process and equal protection of the laws."

In considering the matter, Floyd, joined by Judge Roger Gregory, ruled, “The Virginia Marriage Laws … impede the right to marry by preventing same-sex couples from marrying and nullifying the legal import of their out-of-state marriages. Strict scrutiny therefore applies in this case.”“

VIRGINIA! YES!

» Nation's Oldest LGBT Bookstore Rescued from Closing

(Source: projectqueer, via madmaxed)

So many students have said, trans students have said; now I can have a point of reference when I talk about who I am. My friends are like, ‘Oh, like Sophia from ‘Orange is the New Black?’’ and they’re like, ‘yeah,’ and then they just move on and it’s not an issue,” she said. “I got a letter from a young, from a trans youth’s mother who said that he transitioned because of me and because of seeing me on the show it gave him the courage to talk to his parents about who he was and they’re supportive and loving and now he’s started his transition. It’s insane. It’s really beautiful.

Laverne Cox on the impact of her character Sophia Burset (via comebreakmedown-buryme)

REPRESENTATION MATTERS

(via thaxted)

Thax: 

(via cameronisagirlsnametoo)

(via lgbtqi-advice)

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